Wednesday, May 27, 2009

i just had a nightmare that i was back with your mother!

i love the simpsons :)

anywhoose the social last night. oh-mah-gawd why did i never go to one before?!?! it was heaps of fun. the theme was 70s disco and there were so many good costumes, even if i didnt have one. my legs are completely dead :) there was this guy whose apparently in my grade that was really sleazy. he held out his hand to me and i thought he wanted a high-five so i gave him one but he grabbed my hand and like pulled our hips together. i was like ummm okay backing up now :S then he tried to dance with like every other girl at the social. he was going after alex so bad he even had the whole one finger call happening it was halarious :) then he finally found a girl who would degrade herself enough to dance with him and she sloshed her vag against his leg all night. LOL thats officially the worst way to put dirty dancing. he was gross. but yea lots of good things. like intimidating the sleazy man with sister sarah, making up a dance move for me and naomi, having a d-circle with all the year 12s, gordys dancing, rhodys dancing, the IT guys not knowing how to use their own equipment and aimee winning the best costume :) kamaras dancing is insane!! i so wish i could dance like that!! i love socials :) and my friends :)

today i went into school on my day off :0 i know right. but i never do work at home so i had to go to school. it kind of worked as well cause i got my english done :) and i did a bit of maths :) and the first paragraph of my film :) and my hypothesis of my legal + my surveys :) good job bec :)
and sister sarah was there. i think i distracted her a bit but she stilll got a fair bit of her enlgish done :)
it was really sad yesterday sister sarah had a little bit of a break down cause of her family and everything. its her birthday this weekend and her mum isnt going to be there, shed never want to spend it with her dad and jamie is going clubbing. how rude is that?! and shes really frustrated with jamie at the moment cause at every party jamie tells everyone about sarahs fear of wrists and gets them to show sarah their wrists or grab sarahs wrists and it makes sarah almost burst into tears every single time. sarahs tried to explain to jamie how serious it is but jamie just blows it off. and jamie gets their mum to pay for all her living expenses in brisbane like food and rent and everything even though sarahs mum is in serious financial trouble at the moment (which jamie knows). and sarah pays $50 board a week, buys all her own food and anything else that she needs, shes given up two of her dance classes, and her and nel go for weeks without food in the cupboard. and they're putting their house on the market next week. and jamie still asks her mum for money every weekend! she works one shift a week and her excuse is "simply pies will give me shifts in july holidays" well its not july jamie! sarah gives her mum the $50 for board and the next day she gives it to jamie to go clubbing!! sarahs going to be paying for jamie to go clubbing on her birthday!! gosh it just makes me so frustrated cause sarah and nel are such lovely people and its just horrible that they are in this much trouble. and nels too nice to say no to jamie, shed feel like she wasnt a good mum, not being able to provide for her daughter and everything.
gosh jamie!
but yea so me and other sarah are staying at sister sarahs on saturday night after her BBQ so she doesnt have to be alone on her birthday :)

tom text me last night. he said he'd only just got my text and asked how i could have been rude. i said that it was fine and that i wasnt sure if id been rude cause my memorys a bit foggy. he didnt text back after that. epic sad face. i think that saturday is going to be mighty awkward. epic sad face.

oh well im off cause im hungry.
xx

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

the social

was epic.
i will write more + put some photos up later.
right now im sleeping.
goodnight xx

Monday, May 25, 2009

cams

heres the photos :)
other sarah and sister sarah
sister sarah
<3
laura, other sarah, sister sarah, jamie, brent.
i do love my friends :)
i had the improv part of my drama assessment today. as far as i can tell it went well. i was with jesse and britta which is an amazing group to be put in :) i was jesses girlfriend and britta was his mum, who hated me. i had to tell brittas mum that i couldnt make it to her late husbands anniversary dinner. awkward much. britta was so scary, i would hate for her to hate me.
todayy me and britta also decided that we're doing another rock climb soon. yay :)
i text tom a couple of hours ago and he still hasnt text back :( i think hes probably busy or out of credit though cause its really not his style to ignore people completely. well i hope so anyway. other sarah talked to ron ron for me. this was their conversation:
sarah - has tom said anything about bec since friday night? like he was sober and apparently he maybe said he liked her? although i didnt think he did
aaron - not to me. let bec and tom sort it out though. as far as im butting into toms affairs. he'll be worried about what im thinking :P i learnt this on the weekend haha
sarah - he'll be worried what you think? why? yea ill let them sort it out i was just curious of course lol
aaron - :P yea pretty much. he knows what i think, ive been egging him on for a month haha
sarah - you think they should go out?
aaron - yes and no. tom probably shouldnt. as far as uni and work goes. besides the weekends, thats all he does. i still think he should give it a shot though.
other sarah summed it up by saying that it sounds like tom may want to go out with me but he doesnt know how well it will go with his busy life.
so yea. wowee. honestly i just want to talk to tom. hes the only person that can set everything straight. i need straight right now.
anyways im getting up early in the morning to do my english so ill leave it there.
xx

Sunday, May 24, 2009

did you know you could sprain your knee?

i know right i didnt think you could sprain your knee, since i thought that spraining something was when it went the wrong way. but it would be pretty fucked up if your knee went the wrong way. this is what maddie also discovered when she fell in the shower on friday :( hope she gets better.

i watched an amazing movie today; crazy love. its about this girl who has like o.c.d. and amazingly perfect at everything and does everything for everyone until one day she has a nervous breakdown. she chucks olives and other preserved foods at security guards in a supermarket; its great. then shes admitted to a psych ward and after getting off on the wrong foot with a patient there, they fall in love. she leaves her fiance and they both ignore the doctors advice to not date. in time they are both let out of the hospital and they start living together. then he feels confident about his mental state and stops taking his meds. then he has an episode and tryies to hurt the girl, trashes their apartment and gets taken back to the hospital by the cops. she visits him and even though she knows she cant be with him she still wants to be. they agree they cant be together but she still wants to see him and suggests that maybe she could drop by sometimes. he says that it wouldnt be a good idea. they have their final kiss and she leaves, completely devastated even thought she knows its the right thing.
thats what i want. someone to love me so much that they put me ahead of them. to let me go even though they want me to stay. to ignore me when i still want to see them cause its for my own good.
tom still hasnt txt me. if he hasnt by tomorrow night im doing it. i just want to know whats going on before sister sarahs birthday BBQ.

work today was pretty shit. too many customers. and matt is stupid. but i love sash and jen. they almost made up for everything else.

me and sarah are talking about the whole tom situation. its not inspiring a whole lot of confidence. stupid bec. dont drink and talk about your feelings!! and now im stuck waiting for aaron to come online to see if he says anything about tom. this sucks. stupid bec you ruin everything.
ive decided that once this whole tom debacle is sorted im going to stay away from boys for a while (unless of course tom likes me and wants to date me) which leads me to this quote "serial monogamy is just hidden polygamy"
what if im a hidden polygamist? i mean i jump out of a 1 and a 1/2 year angst fest/friends with benefits/relationship into being surprisingly really into tom and telling him that i like him after like 2 days of realising this. in fact im pretty sure that before brad i liked josh for like over a year as well.
hmmmm maybe i need counselling. kidding. well... kind-of anyways.
im giving up ron ron coming online.
night xx

dreams

i had the weirdest/saddest dream last night.
me and sister sarah were at school and there was some kind of race/competition between jordan grace (in his younger days) and some other bad dude. there was a helicopter (that made no noise?) for each of them with a seat hanging from it, looking much like a chair lift. the boys had to sit on the seat and play their guitars and sing as the helicopters flew around the school. i think they were trying to get their publicity up or something. they also had to direct their pilot to the best places to fly/the parts of the school where certain people sat. me and sister sarah were on jordan graces side. on one of his first flights he took us around with him and him and sister sarah were "cosy". when me and sister sarah were on the ground we would run around making people notice him. then there was a test for the guys. they had to draw their ideal tree to have to fly through. i was next to them and i knew the answer so i pretended i was doodling and drew it, then left. jordan noticed and got out first. he ran out and hugged me (oh wow) and behind him i saw the bad guy advancing on jordans back with a sharpened toothbrush in his hand. i pulled away from jordan and hit the bad guy over the head with a frying pan. jordan looked at me funny and i explained it. then he was all grateful-like with more hugs (oh wow wow) and then he went off to do his victory lap. me and sister sarah ran around the school trying to see him. i ran past grace and she was like "no bec wait" but i was too excited to. i ran to the top of the stairs that lead to the hall, then i saw a massive group of people at the bottom of the stairs and a crashed helicopter. everything stopped. i turned around and sarah flew into my arms crying. we went down there and sarah picked up his guitar and i had a guitar and we started singing and playing the song jordan grace had been playing all competition.
really sad huh?

onto things that arent depressing now.

friday at school was good. we had a practice forum theatre in drama cause the real ones start monday!! i spent like three of my five lessons and a lunch on my maths assignment and i got most of it done as well. i was completely stoaked. the bell went to go to last class so i thought id put it in when school finished. fast track to me going to the plaza, talking to my boss for so long that i missed the 3:40 bus. i went to zarraffas and reasoned that i was aloud to since id done my maths assignment and everything. i was sitting there congratulating myself and then i remembered i didnt hand it in!!!!! shit!!!!! so i went to the plaza post office and posted it to the school but i dont know if ill get penalised or not since it was meant to be in at the end of school. dammit.

then i went home and got ready for cams. me and other sarah went to sister sarahs for dinner. we had nachos with mince (yum) and got ready. brent got lost picking jamie up from the train station so we were late to cams. when we got there i felt a little awkward cause the party was kind of separated. but then i got drunk and made friends. omg this guy pat was so stoned, it was halarious. then mel and tegan turned up randomly. mel had pot and i found teabags so we had a couple. im not really disappointed in myself or anything but i care about what my friends will think. the tom, aaron and nick turned up. again randomly. it was so good they turned up and were pretty much instantly friends with people at the party. somewhere in there me and tom kissed. then i told him that i liked him. he said "i like you to and i know this sounds really stupid but i dont have time for a girlfriend. with uni and work and everything id only get to see you on the weekend which wouldnt be worth it." i honestly have no clue what i said next but i dont think it was anything good. not like rude to him i think i suggested a friends with benefits thing. i dont know! but then i think i said that maybe that wouldnt be a good idea cause i might end up wanting more. again i dont know! we continued kissing throughout the night though. brent was so good all night he was protecting all us girls against sleazy guys. we'd be talking to someone gross and brent would come up and say "come on we have to do the thing you know" and other things like that and just drag us away. i love him :) at some point in the night i felt sick as well but i wasnt :) then me and other sarah were getting tired and we both had to be up early in the morning so we wanted to go back to aarons (that was like 10 away) to sleep. sister sarah didnt want to go so we left her which i feel really bad about but she had her friend there (i dont remember her name) that promised shed look after sister sarah. nick drove us to aarons cause hed had like one drink. at aarons we chilled alittle before going to bed around 3/3:30. me and tom shared a single bed and we cuddled some more. then we woke up at like 6 or something stupid like that cause aaron doesnt have curtains in his room yet. other sarahs mum took me to the plaza on the way to other sarahs netball, which was lovely of her. then work. it actually wasnt that bad. in fact in the morning i was great. we were so busy though. we didnt get all the stock done even though it was our main job. but im hoping that jim sees how busy we were, so he'll understand. i got home, called naomi and then slept.
i woke up this morning and realised that id had 13 hours sleep!! woah!!
now im getting ready for work and im kind of annoyed that i had to work both days this week cause i really needed to do my assignments. oh well i guess chloe didnt choose to be sick.
im cut that tom hasnt text me. bad follow up.

well if i dont move my keester im going to be late.
ill blog tonight.
xx

Thursday, May 21, 2009

i didnt get my ipod

epic sad face :( they only take back stuff that they specifically sell. me, other sarah and nick tried target to with the same response. dammit. its fair enough but still, dammit.
the rest of my day was super-dooper though.
well no actually qcs wasnt but it was better than usual. jesse fell out of his desk. LOL.
i got all my maths assignment copied (off tamika/zack :D thankyou) now ive just got to do a good copy. which i should probably be doing now. oh well.
nutter was either shitty with me or just shitty in general today. im hoping it was the second one which could be possible cause she was stessing heaps about her maths.
i saw sarahs art work. oh-my-freaking-god. i wish i could paint like that. shes painting me *blushes* and its really good. i told her i was going to buy it off her and give it to mum for her birthday. depending how much it is i think i will. is it incredibly up yourself to buy a painting of yourself? :S
then me and other sarah met nick at the plaza and went shopping. i got a red cardigan thats intensely long so im going to wear it as a dress to cams tomorrow night. *sidetrack for a moment; eeeeeeeee cams is tomorrow night im so excited!! and i dont have to work on saturday!!!!* i also got a yellow pair of ballet shoes and an awesome bag that has an indian on it. and i brought max (other sarahs brother) a policeman hat to replace the one i broke. and omfg i got a fake camera that shoots water :D its awesome.
tom was working so me, nick and sarah chatted to him for a bit. butterflies be still!! later on, after sarah and nick had gone to their works, i was on the way to see nic about the whole crazy whore lady (see blog below) i walked past toms work again and stopped in again. by myself! we talked for like 15/20 minutes and it was really good. i didnt embarrass myself or anything. and hes coming to sarahs BBQ next weekend :)
i went into work then remembered that nic finishes at 12 on thursdays. silly bec. so i called mum and she came and picked me up which was nice.
when i was getting my costume together i discovered that i have lost the black singlet i was planning to wear underneath my cardigan, and also remembered that my tights were red, not black like i now needed. so im going shopping after school tomorow to get them, and salvo-ing it to find a cape. if i cant find a cape then i can borrow one of max's but i dont want to loose it or anything.
maddie told me about this amazing magazine, Frankie. i cant afford magazines but the websight is incredibly grand. check it; http://www.frankie.com.au/. its got like art, craft, food, travel, fashion, events, music and and anything else you can think of. its all really cute and the craft part has given me some awesome ideas for my room. **ohhh i forgot to mention the other day when i went into this shop, the very thing im pretty sure its called and i found heaps of stuff for my room like little lady bugs/butterflie/dragonflies and a heaps of little peices of drifwood tied with fishing line and pictures and everything**


wouldnt that be sad.my therapist is you, my blog. you, is tom.
eeeek. what am i getting myself into.

both images from le love.

xx

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

all customers suck

ive had a formal complaint laid against me at work. fuck.
as far as i knew we werent aloud to return socks cause of health and safety regulations which is what i tell every person i sell socks, underware and bathers to. so when a lady came in on saturday wanting to exchange two pairs of socks, even though she had her recipet and her socks with the tags still on them, thats what i told her. i went back to my work, she found the socks she wanted and i sold them to her. the socks are $2.95 each and she brought two pairs. she wasnt rude to me, she didnt make a fuss so i presumed that considering it was an extra $6, like most people, she didnt mind.

obviously not. she sent a huge email to the head of rivers saying that i was rude to her, that i didnt even look at the socks, that when she was looking for her socks i swore while having a conversation with whoever i was working with, that i finished my conversation before serving her and that when i served her i was rude again.
wrong wrong wrong.
i dont think i was rude to her, i looked at the socks cause i knew that they still had the tags on them, i didnt swear cause 1) i dont swear at work, im not stupid and 2) we have code words for bad words and 3) i was in a good mood so i wouldnt have been swearing, i wouldnt have finished my conversation cause i knew id be back there in like a second and again i dont believe i was rude to her.
her email was so fucking intense it was talking about how she was never told about these heath and safety regulations (which really isnt our fault cause she got them from another store), that she would lilke to know where she can find these so called regulations, how i obviously wasnt hired for my bright and sunny disposition, that she has worked in retial/banking on the front counter for over 10 years and therefore knows what is the correct protocol for someone in that position and that she will never shop with us ever again nor will she recommend us to anybody ever again which will have a dramatic impact on us cause word of mouth is the strongest form of advertising.
and this was over two pairs of $2.95 socks. jeeeeeesus.
i hope she doesnt come in again. shes obviously a little intense.
ALL OF THIS OVER $5.90!!!! I MIGHT LOSE MY JOB OVER $5.90!!!!!

I GET PAID MORE PER HOUR THAN THAT!!!!!
FUCK YOU, YOU CRAZY WHORE!!!!!
gahhhhhhhh im going to bed.
xx


p.s. haha i think its funny that theres always more bold in my blogs that im passionate about.
p.p.s. im going into work to have a chat with nic tomorrow about it all, so ill try to print out a copy and i can show you how intense the email is.
p.p.p.s. im scared of losing touch with brad via losing my job.
p.p.p.p.s. im getting my new ipod tomorrow hopefully :) my one ray of sunshine through all this shit.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

i just had a very nice chat to josh. and almost convinced him to send me his maths assignment but he hadnt typed it all up yet :( i miss when we were hell tight.

im starting to get a bit... i dont know how to put it, its not worried or creeped out but something along those lines about me and zacks friendship. like i dont see a problem with it but im sure if other people witnessed it then they would think bad things. i know, i know, it doesnt matter what other people think but... well it kind of does. im not man enough to not care completely. we made this joke once that we were married so now whenever we talk we call each other things like honey and baby and sweetie etc. and we plan our wedding and our kids names and stuff. it reminds me of when you'd play marriage as a little kid. i dont know why it worries me, cause we both know its nothing. maybe its cause it makes me feel so good, almost like its something. shit i dont know. it kind of makes me feel like im using him cause im getting so much more out of this game than he is. its pretty much keeping me from being lonely. like boy lonely. we have like fake fights and makeups and even though its ridiculous it still makes me feel... something close to loved, maybe accepted? included? alls i know is that i feel strange about it. but im not stopping. its keeping me stable. im not stopping.

im going to get my stuff for cams tomorrow :) and have oreos with peanut butter :) and hopefully chill with kamara if we are at the plaza at the same time :) then work 2:45 - 5:45 with jenny, sash and nic. should be good :) i could be working with brad as well :S while it has the potential to be good if he talks to me, if he doesnt talk to me it could be possibly the worst thing ever. like ever. so fingers crossed that doesnt happen.

i am severely sad that my blog has no followers :( ill have to start putting it on myspace or something.

well im off to bed. its raining pretty heavily which will be nice :)
xx

i honestly want

to kill myself. or whoever wrote up my maths assignment. its pure and utter shit.
and i have to do well in the assignment cause the exam is on navigation, which i fail in.
ive decided im going to do as much as i can of the first question, then just copy all the others. bad bec i know but... well i have no excuse but if i dont then im not going to get it done and therefore fail. ill pay back whoever i copy it off somehow. maybe a brunch. ive never been out to brunch and would really like to go.

lol when my phone battery is about to die it alerts you by making a sound really similar to the jaws music. its been making it for about an hour now and ive enjoyed it every single time. which makes up for the fact that my itunes wont work for some unknown reason :( eipc sadness.

its raining. but i dont really mind. as long as it doesnt stay around too long.

gosh ben can be frustrating. talking to him is like being interrogated. "how much of the assignment have you done, when did you start, who are you going to copy off, how much did your bed cost, who brought it, are you going to buy my car, a car can get you further than an ipod, what happened to your ipod, what size have you got, what happens when you get your license, how many hours have you got, why have you only got that many" etc etc etc. its intense talking to him.

mum just got home and yelled at grace for not cleaning her room. so i should probably clean mine.
ill be back on later.
xx



p.s i found this really cool thing; Stefan Br├╝ggemann is an artist from mexico. i dont know what it is about his art it just makes me feel good. and the fact that he makes entire art exhibition just out of words is amazing.





same thing?

a box of nothing

romance (is dead)
if you didnt get it

ive always want to know if someone is fluent in two languages, what do they think in?

Monday, May 18, 2009

happy international museum day!

haha ive become addicted to looking up this sight Earth Calendar (http://www.earthcalendar.net/index.php)
and today is international museum day. some other holidays for today include flag and university day in haiti, revival and unity day in turkmenistan and battle of laspeidras in uruguay. holidays for the month include breath easy month, corrective posture month, national barbeque month, national egg month, national salad month and asian pacific american heritage month :D every time i feel low i go find something to celebrate :D

sarah got me invited to cams party :D beyond excited. from what ive heard his parties sound epic e.g. mechanical bulls, mud wrestling and just general plastered-ness. it should be good :) and its a costume party; good v evil. all day id been trying to think of what i could go as and when i woke up from my nanna nap the first thing i thought was "little red riding hood" good yes? im going to wear a red cape a.k.a hood, red singlet, black shorts/skirt, red tights and my boots. and im stealing mums picnic basket :D im going op shopping tomorrow to find the cape/hood and the shorts/skirt. and im buying the singlet and tights. i could possibly wear my beret too. idk ill chat to sarah about it. but im very excited!! i love going to costume partys when i have a good costume :)

today for our parade we had john and ulga from AA come to talk to us. they were so funny john talked first and he open with "hi my names john and im an alcoholic" a couple of people (including me) said "hi john" back then after he told us he had been sober for 25 years he asked the whole group to say hello to him so he introduced himself again and the whole group greeted him. his talk was really.. sobering. oh gosh im awful i know :P he told us that one in three women will be abused in their lifetime and then that his wake up call was his wife calling the cops on him. the way he described the effect that alcohol has on him was an allergic reaction to it. his personality would dramatically change whenever he drank. he said he missed drinking, that he wished that he could drink like other people; it was really touching. then ulga came up and she was such a cutie and just halarious. "if you would rather sit and drink than have sex with a cute boy, then you've got a problem" :D and a guy had a question but then he forgot it or something and she said "do you want my number" she was great :) it was really powerful hearing how they turned their lives around. it got me thinking that maybe i would like to get into something like that (helping alcoholics not becoming one) as a career or maybe just volunteering. id guess though that you'd have to be older. i shall look in to it none the less.

i have a new favourite band. Never!Shout!Never! they're not my usual kind of stuff... i dont know what it is the singers voice just entrances me and his lyrics are a cross between cheesy and honest. check them out, particularly happy and trouble.

anways gnight
xx

Sunday, May 17, 2009

belated blog

theres no internet at dads and i went out last night so thats why theres been no blog until just now. ive pretty much been having blogger withdrawals hahaha

so yes to my weekend.
school on friday was good. nothing really happened as far as i remember. then mel drove me to work and ive decided im never driving with her again. shes shocking. work was good. then dad picked me up and took me home to get our stuff/grace. when we got home the house was in shambles. grace had decided to try to put her bed up. so her whole bedroom was in the kitchen/sunroom and her bed was half made in her room. im guessing she found it too hard haha so we got our stuff and went to dads. on the way to dads grace got a call saying her friend had been hit by a car :( hope they're alright. then we got home and had dinner. donna made this spinach pie thing it was gooooooood. then dad gave us our presents. he got me
a bag
a one-of-a-kind wallet
a shirt
and... an ipod.
but not the one i want. so now i have a dilemma. i want a silver 120GB ipod classic so badly it might as well be a need. i have a couple of options on how to go about it 1) i tell dad straight up that im seeling the one he got me to get the one i want 2) i tell him that it got stolen from my locker so i brought a new one or 3) i tell him that a friend got given a new ipod for their birthday so they gave me their old one. i want to pick the one that will hurt his feelings the least. i think its a choice between 1 and 3. oh well ive got two weeks to decide.

ohhhhh tangent for a minute; nics pregnant!!!! yay yay yay!! im so happy for her!! im going to be an aunt :D and she told me before she told dad!! ive so replaced him as family-non-family :D yay :)

ok back on track now. then i called maddie and chatted with her then i went to sleep. i got a text sometime in the night from sarah saying we were having drinks at pauls tomorrow night. and a goodnight text from david :)

then work on saturday. it was such a good shift i was just in a great mood so nothing brought me down even though we had the rudest customer. hed been in on thursday, friday and then he came back again on saturday!! poor jess and nic they had to deal with him all three times i only had satuday. the whole deal was over a belt that he claimed he only brought a couple of weeks ago and it had cracked and split a fair bit. he didnt have his receipt so we couldnt give him a refund and we offered to send it away for factory assessment, so that if there was a fault with it then the company would send him a letter with a credit note in it. so therefore we had to take his details. he wanted us to send it away for factory assessment but he didnt want him to give us his details cause he didnt want catalogues and stuff sent to him. which wouldnt happen and we explained that to him but he didnt believe us. he wanted us to send it away without details (which our computer system wont let us do) and when it gets sent back to us (which it wouldnt) we would see him in the store cause hes "in here all the time" and give it to him then. i hope everyone else sees how impractical that is. then he went even crazier and was saying that hed buy a new belt, he wouldnt keep the receipt and if it broke in three weeks hed come back and nic would have to give him a new belt. then she busts out with "im not going to sell it to you then. i have the right to refuse sale to anyone i chose and since i know you're not going to keep you're receipt im not going to sell it to you" ha-ha-ha take that!! so then he gave us his details :P then he has the nerve to hit on nic!!! bahahaha what a mess.
then i bussed it home, called mum, slept, asked sister sarah to get my alcohol and then got ready. other sarah came and picked me up and we went to pauls. other sarahs mum gave me an idea with my ipod. apparently target/kmart (i cant remember which) will take back anything that they sell in the shop and give you a credit note for it if you dont have a receipt. so if they sell my ipod there ill do that :) then we got to pauls and kitty was there. her and dylan are moving out together :) we chilled there for a bit and it was boring so i called jess and she said shed take us to rickys. shes so lovely :) we got to rickys and found out that we had to be really quiet cause rickys mums dad (rickys pop) had passed away three days ago. the boys spent the whole night making "ya mum" jokes out of anything that riley said and imitating haden talking about his dick. they both got kind of mad by it. a couple of hours after we'd been at rickys we decided to go down to the park so that we werent keeping his parents up. luke and adam came a bit after that on a boat :) completely blind as well :) so we chilled some more then adam and qamil got in a fight. it was over a joke that went too far but i think they worked it out. then nick came and something went on, im not sure what. the sarahs had a fight over the way that other sarah was ignoring nick. it was weird how other sarah was ignoring nick. i dont know what happened but i hope its all worked out now. other sarah went back to nicks house. then we chilled some more, sister sarah went missing for a bit but she wasnt really missing, then we decided to go home. luke said we could stay at his so we went via boat back to his. it was so funny there was me, sister sarah, julian, alistair, luke and haden in this tiny tinny. we dropped haden at his house then got to lukes. we tried not to wake his parents up but we failed. his mum came into his room to check it out and when she saw me and sister sarah in lukes bed (we were all planning on sharing lukes bed) she told luke "no funny business" hahahaha so me and sarah were on a mattress on the floor with the boys on lukes bed. then luke came and joined us. then he went back to his bed then he came back to the mattress and sister sarah went to the bathroom. then we kissed. then sister sarah came back and sent him back up to the bed. i told sister sarah and she was like "what happened to tom?" and im like "i dont know!" then luke came back down and we kissed again. sister sarah went up to the bed cause she felt uncomfortable. then some funny business happened :P lukes so funny hes completely open about whatever hes thinking. so many times he interrupted us kissing to say things like "even though you're little you have the perfect boobs to ass ratio" and "omg how did you take your bra off so quick?" hes great :) then at about 5 AM luke wanted juice so we had poppers then we decided we should go to sleep :)
this morning i text riley and asked if he could swing by lukes when he goes home and pick me up. he said yes :) hes such a lovely boy. so around an hour later ricky and riley came by and woke us all up. we all hung out, had breakfast then riley dropped me home before meeting up with the rest of the boys at the beach. mum was on the phone to nanny when i got in so i waited for them to be finished. when mum hung up i apologised for not staying where i told her i was (pauls) and not telling her. she was really good about it :) she told me about her weekend at coolum. she did the walk for breast cancer thing with a group of friends and they stayed in a hotel in coolum for two nights. she had a nice time. then she made me french toast :D i tried to help her put graces bed together but failed miserably. then i went to bed, woke up, had dinner and watched tv. then i blogged :) now you're up to date in the world of bec :)
i like that i hooked up with luke. he was a good choice for a rebound boy cause i know he doesnt want anything from it and it wont be awkward. and hes just lovely.
today somewhere in between sleep and dinner i had a big "what if" sesh. like "what if id never met the sarahs?" my life would be dramatically different. they have both taught me so much about being a better person. the little things that sister sarah does for people just cause it would make them happy, the way that other sarah does things for people without them even asking. they are both amazing. and i wouldnt be half as confident as i am if i hadnt met them, they pretty much taught me how to talk. i would have exploded by now if i didnt have sister sarah to talk to about all my stupidness and i wouldnt have learned to listen if other sarah didnt talk over people. then theres the social side of it. i wouldnt have become friends with the creek boys, past and present, i wouldnt have become friends with the internationals like steffen and sebastian, i probably wouldnt still be friends with the boys at school and countless other friends. im beyond grateful that i met them. they changed my life. i hope ive changed theirs. i cant really see how i have but if they've done this much for me then i must have had atleast a bit of effect. well i hope so anways. it would be really depressing if i hadnt :)
even though i had a pretty reasonable amount of sleep tonight im still tired so im off to sleep some more :)
xx
oh p.s i decided that i needed a way to tell the sarahs apart for everyone that cant read my mind so sister sarah is sarah larchin cause shes got jamie as a sister and other sarah is well... other sarah :P
ohhh p.p.s here are the photos from landmark with sister sarah.



m'bar

the wharf

buderim

loo with a view

thumbs up

bubbles

thumbs up

haha i love her

b-e-a-utiful

smiles

yepp.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

:D:D:D

guess where im writting from right now? MY NEW BED!!!!! omg i love it. i dont want to get up ever haha.
today was amazingly great. it started off with qcs and mrs robbin getting angry at me cause i didnt have my pathways to success book which then forced me to sit next to tamela. shes actually really rude. i felt so bad for mrs robbin, micah forgot his pts book as well so moved his desk next to someone with a book and half blocked the isle. mrs robbin the got angry at him and told him to move and he said no cause he wanted to look on the kid next to hims book. she then had to explain to micah infront of the entire class that she needed him to move cause otherwise she couldnt fit through. that would be absoulutely mortifying.

at 8:15 me and jesse left, got our stuff and went to the bus bay. gosh it was embarrassing, my sister was hanging around there with her friends and my entire class was giving me shit for her. then we got on the bus and were off. i was up the front sitting next to naomi with shauna behind me, britta and saskia across from us and claire and alex behind her. sam, jesse, glen and other awesome people were in the middle. the stupid people were up the back, naturally. my seat was broken so every time i leaned on it it would lean back so far that id squash shauna :P it was halarious. me and naomi sung our songs pretty much the whole way. some include last request, disney, michael jackson, soko and taylor swift in the most country voice we could muster :) sam was a bit rude and coughed "shutup" or something then hid behind his seat. immature much. and really hypocritical. he always goes on about how everyone should just be able to do what they want. oh well it didnt stop us. infact im pretty sure we got louder :P there were heaps of funny things like sitting next to yourself, my sisters myspace and making plans for when we grow up :) britta had her bean boolzed jelly beans :) omg these things are great i insist you get a packet of these (they're sold at darrelea and various candy shops) they're so funny for each colour there are two sepparate flavours and you dont know which flavour you've got until you eat it.
heres the list of flavours :)
green - juicy pear or booger
light blue - berry blue or toothpaste
dark blue - plum or black pepper
white - coconut or baby wipes
yellow/brown - top banana or pencil shavings
dark yellow - caramel corn or mouldy cheese
light yellow - buttered popcorn or rotten egg
orange - peach or vommit
on the bus birtta handed them out and it was pretty much a game of russian roulet. i got toothpaste, black pepper, baby wipes, vommit and rotten egg. rotten egg was deffinetly the worst i didnt even eat it i squished it then smelt it and that made me gag. these are serious fun. go get them :)
when we got to billie brown there were two or three other schools there and our uniform looked so ratty compared to them with their blazers and high socks. i still like ours better though. then we went in and i sat next to naomi. a couple of seats down and to the right from us there was a boy with the most hideous hair; he had like animae style wooosh hair, which was fine but then there was this one long rat tail that came down to like his nipple i swear. yuckkkkk. the plays were... omg i dont even know how to explain it. they were amazing. one of the bretchian styles was the idea of alienation so the play was basically ludicris and made no sense. but in a good way not in like a confusing way. and it was halarious. laughs all around. when the play was done there was a qna sesh and the stupidest question came first "what happened?" not even kidding. i want to know how many of the people in there had even studied bretch before they came. it would have been a seriously confusing hour and a half for anyone who hadnt.
then we hopped back on the bus and went to southbank for lunch. me, britta, naomi, hannah, jesse, sam, glen and alex = lunch mob. me and naomi shared a footlong sweet oinion chicken terriaki from subway :) probably the best thing ever. i seriously reccomend it. then we got cold rock. again seriously reccomend it if you've never tried it. then we went to the candy shop. drooooooool. i got two packets of bean boozled and nomy brought me, britta and hannah heart shaped lollypops <3fantastic. we got mrs walgers and mrs johnson to try the beans but they didnt get any bad ones :( then bus trip home. me and naomi pretty much listened to music and slept.
heres the photos :)

i love naomi more than words could say. walking to the candy store.

so many lollipops.kiss kiss.
i love southbank. i dont know what it is about this pathway i just feel good everytime im there.

i want to go on this.
bus buddies.
attactiveness.
the beans. get them.




then i got home and my beautiful bed was waiting for me. not set up though. so i got everything out of my room, vacuumed and dusted then put my bed together with help from mum and i havent been off it for more than 10 since :)
pictures :)
de-assembling the bed.
thats how much dust was on the boards of my bed. yuck.

my bed
my wardrobe now holds about half of my room.
the finished product :)

now im going to read the rest of my enlglish novel on my new bed and then sleep on my new bed :)
you're jealous, i know.
xx

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

well well well

isnt matthew johns in a spot of trouble? hes the footballer that, along with another footballer, brought a girl back to his room to have sex with her then other men came in and had sex with her too. six men in total. and now, two years later, she calls rape. i dont know though, i mean she was in a hotel room its not like there was no one around to come to her aid if she had called out. and matthew even said that she was calling men to the bed to have sex with her. it all sounds a bit dodge if you ask me. like while it probably wasnt her fault that she was basically passed around, she was the one that went back to a hotel room with him and another guy. both party faults?

i have a drama excursion tomorrow and im rather excited. we're watching some bretch performance/seminar thingo. at the billie brown studio. yay yay yay.
and OMG guess what? im getting my big bed tomorrow!!! woot!!! mum said it wont be going in my room until ive cleaned it and that i wont have it cleaned (to her satisfaction anyways) by tomorrow but im going to prove her wrong. ive pretty much done everything she asked already. ive cleaned everything up, ive done my washing, i cleaned my wardrobe up. ive just got to vacuum and dust which shouldnt take too long. ive still got to decide where its going. i could put it where my bed used to be and put my bookcase back where my bed it currently, which would work. not a lot of moving either. or i could leave my bed where it is and just move my bedside table to in between my desk and my bookcase but that doesnt really leave a lot of room. in fact my room would be tiny. or i could put my bed where my desk is, put my desk where my bookcase is and put my bookcase where my bed is. a shit load of moving and also then my bed would be under my little window and the sun would wake me up in the morning. and as well the power point isnt convenient for that one. i think im going to go with the first one.
me and mum went shopping for doona covers today cause we have to get all new ones to fit my bed and i found the nicest one, it was white with black, grey and red in a paint-stripe kind of look, but mum said it was too expensive :(:(:( i was beyond sad. and we didnt find any that were even half way decent so i still dont have one which means when my bed comes tomorrow im going to be using my double doona for a queen bed :( oh well at least ill have my bed :)

today was so good. me and sarah had a key to landmark for the day cause her mum works for them. so we chilled in their roof-top spa and sun baked all day. then we shopped for a bit in mooloolaba and sarah got the nicest dress. shes so cute she couldnt pay for it until friday (cause thats when she gets paid) and the shop assistant said it probably wouldnt be there on friday so i offered to pay for it and she could pay me back on friday; she basically didnt stop saying thank you the entire day :) then we caught the bus to the library to pick up my book but then i remembered i didnt have mums library card so we couldnt get it. silly bec. we then walked back to the plaza, visited other sarah, saw rae and jaqui and shopped a bit. then sarah had to go so i went to work and got my hours. nic saw my tragus piercing :S so i have to buy a clear one asap. then mum picked me up, we went and got my book then shopped for doonas and came home.
nutter informed me that grace has a boyfriend. LOL. im going to suss him out tomorrow :) no actually i wont cause im going to be in brisbane :) i will suss him out friday.

well i dont want to fall asleep on the excursion tomorrow so im going to try to sleep now.
xx

ohhh btw the question that sarah couldnt ask me yesterday was just a "would bec date tom?" question from ron ron.










why do let me stay here?
all by myself
why don't you come and play here?
im just sitting on the shelf
why don't you sit right down and stay awhile?
we like the same things and i like your style
its not a secret; why do you keep it?
im just sitting on the shelf

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

feel good songs

music is great. it makes my morning. one song in particular makes my morning. or makes my any time of day really. MIA - Paper Planes. i dont know what it is about this song but i can be running out the door, stressing that im going to miss the bus, but as soon as i put that song on everything just calms down.
im making a morning mix so i can continue my good mood after that song.
heres some possible candidates:

MIA - Paper Planes
Arctic Monkeys - Fluorescent Adolescent
Bob Marely - Looking In Your Big Brown Eyes
The Cat Empire - The Car Song
Eric Hutchinson - Rock 'N' Roll
Faker - This Heart Attack
The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger
Kate Miller-Heidke - Cant Shake It
Kate Nash - The Skeleton Song
Lady GaGa - Just Dance
Mamma Mia! - Honey, Honey
Mamma Mia! - Does Your Mother Know
Mamma Mia! - Take A Chance On Me
MGMT - Time To Pretend
MGMT - Electric Feel
Michael Jackson - The Way You Make Me Feel
Panic! At The Disco - Nine In The Afternoon
Rascal Flatts - Life Is A Highway
She & Him - Sitting On The Shelf
Venga Boys - Boom Boom Boom


any more ideas?



so this morning i was rushing about trying to get ready on time cause silly me forgot how many times i had snoozed my alarm. i ran to the bus stop. yes thats right i RAN. i never run. but i RAN to the bus stop and sat there waiting. 10 minutes later i get a text from sarah saying that the bus was late, like 20 minutes late. GAHH. so then i text nutter to tell her that the bus was late and the mnt creek bus driver told her that our bus had broken down and was waiting for a new bus to come. GAHH. its now 7:30 which is when first session starts. then kaitlyn who catches the bus from my stop called her dad and got him to pick her up and offered me a lift :D so i got to school about 10 minutes late where as the entire back row of our english class didnt get to school until about 8:10 haha :)
school was good. at lunch i started feeling a bit sick and that stuck around all day but oh well. i got home and slept. when i woke up to have dinner i had 3 missed calls from sarah and a missed call from ron ron saying "bec, if tom dropped his pants and said 'get on!' would you say kay or nay? <3 sarah " obviously not from sarah, definitely from ron ron. so i text sarah and asked why she called. she called me again and turns out her phone wont text :l and she invited me to the movies with her, nick, tom and paul if i could get ready in 10. i could have but mum said no :( i asked her about the text message from ron ron and she was like "he asked me a question that i cant say right now, which i answered then he asked me the one he sent you and i told him i couldnt answer that so he pretended i asked you from his phone" now i rather want to know what the other question was. mum made really yummy thai stir-fry rice stuff but i still felt sick so i spent the whole meal worrying if i was about to be sick instead of enjoying it :l

im thinking about wearing my beret thing the next time i go out.












thoughts?

sometimes i hate my parents. well no hates a too strong a word. sometimes i wish my parents were different is probably the best way to put it. like yesterday i was nanna napping when dad called me. we chatted for a bit then he asked if grace was around. i told him that she was but i didnt want to get out of bed to get her so he should just called her. lazy i know :P he asked if she would pick up her mobile and i said no cause its dead and that he should call the home phone. he then asked if she would pick up. i said she would. he asked me if i was sure. i said i was since she was on the computer which is right next to the phone. we said bye and he called her. to somebody that doesnt know my parents that exchange seems pretty innocent right? well its not. his questions about grace picking up the phone were related to him not wanting to call the home phone and have my mother answer the phone. im definitely glad they are divorced but it would just be so much better if they could at least be civil to each other. even just for the sake of us. its a constant war between them and me and grace are caught in the middle. i hate having to choose between them. i shouldnt have to choose between them.
*sigh*
i get to go to dads this weekend and receive all my exciting presents from america :) i dont know if donna will be there, im kind of hoping she isnt so me and dad can have one-on-one time. im desperately hoping that he got me the 120GB ipod classic in silver. if not im buying it myself next week :)
well i have a hectically busy day tomorrow so id better get some sleep.
sleep tight xx

Monday, May 11, 2009

eyes shut

i love drama :) more specifically i love my drama class. ive never felt more at ease with a group of people in my life. i still get embarrassed around them but its no where near as bad as it is around other people. point and case: class today. we have a student teacher and shes sticking pretty well to the format of a student teacher. y'know what i mean first they bond with us, creating a feeling of trust within the class, then they try to make themselves the "cool" teacher, make it seem like they're on our side, then they teach. we're at stage one with (insert name here. my teacher cant even pronounce it, so i dont know it) so we're doing all the trust games and whatnot. usually this is really lame and painful but this student teachers actually got some moves. we played this one game, i cant remember what its called and i doubt i could spell it, but it was great. we all had to shut our eyes and stand with our arms held out in front of us, crossed over. one person was nominated to be the vampire, who had their eyes shut but instead of crossing their arms over held them out similar to how the zombies in old movies do. when the game started we had to walk around and if the vampire touched us on our shoulder we had to let out a blood-curdling scream :) then we also became a vampire, put our arms out in front of us and try to get people. if you were already a vampire and you got touched by another vampire then you became a human again. and so on and so forth. we had a practice scream session with our eyes open and i pretty much couldnt scream but as soon as we had our eyes shut i let loose. it was so much fun. we played heaps of other games where we had to have our eyes closed as well. we would have felt ridiculous and nobody would have participated half as much as they did if we didnt have our eyes shut. why is it that people can only let loose when nobodies watching?
my aim is to learn to not be embarrassed as often, or even at all if i can manage it. im sick of blushing at everything that i do. im sick of getting tongue-tied when people laugh at me. and im sick of beating myself up every night before i go to sleep about the stupid things i said/did that day.


i will be confident.
i will be original.
i will be myself.


starting today.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

i wanted a new post

i felt that the last post was too long so i started another one.
different topic, different post. yes?
so, my weekend.

i didnt go out friday night :0 works been getting angry about me turning up hungover so considering my manager works saturdays i acted responsibly.

good job bec :)
work on saturday was good. i was expecting nic to say something to me about being hungover and any other reasons why she might be angry with me but she didnt. she even had the best opportunity cause we were both on break at the same time, just chilling in the back room. its so frustrating when you have to figure out what you did wrong on your own!! but yeah work was good. then i walked to the library to see if they had the novel im reading for english (to kill a mockingbird :) ) and to see maddie. they didnt have my book but i chatted with maddie and met her work friend... ryan i think it was? hes nice :) on the way back to the plaza i looked in some of the boutique shops and i found the nicest dress but it was like two sizes to big :(
i took photos of people walking around cause i loved what they were wearing but as of the moment my camera has gone on vacation somewhere in my room :) they'll be up laterzzz.
then i went to sarahs work and she had her break in half an hour so i chilled around the plaza and waited for her. just before she went on her break she called me and asked if i could get a paper bag for her to carry her toasted sandwich in. this is how it went.
lady at counter "hi what can i get you?"
me "a paper bag thanks"
lady at counter *weird look* "is that all?"
me "chyeaa"
funnyyyyyyyyyy.
then i met up with sarah and she told me some pretty interesting news.
just after i left her tom and reiss came into her work. reiss started giving tom shit about last weekend then reiss said "sarah in all seriousness, should tom ask bec out?" woweeeee. im not sure what to think though cause reiss could have just been stirring tom up or he could have been being serious. you can never tell with him. sarah gave a good answer, she said to wait. so at least ive got time to figure out what i want. good job sarah :)
then we met up with them plus aaron and ben and had lunch. it was good, not awkward or anything :) then i walked sarah back to work and did some more shopping. i got mum frangipani scented soap and rocky-road. i brought myself grey ballet slippers and a black... i dont know if they're called berets or not... its like a beanie but you wear it further back on your head??? i hope you get what i mean anyways. and they are great :) and i found the nicest smelling hand-cream ever. marshmallow scented. i kid you not. im going to buy it on thursday when i get paid :)
then saturday night there was a shindig at sarahs. tom, aaron and reiss were invited but they already had another party to go to. soooooo funny when i got there jacqui was there and shes like "did you leave from your house" and im like "yea?" and shes like "omg we would have given you a lift i got here like a second ago" rae, brent, jacqui and jamie and sarah were there already. the other sarah came a little later and then nick after her. then riley came but without the other creek boys. sarah and riley left to go convince the rest of them to come. and luke and ricky turned up about a minute later. LOL. sarah and riley came back and they couldnt believe that they'd just missed them :) we danced a fair bit, no alcohol involved im proud to say :) dancing without being drunk is fun, you dont fall over or break things :) we chilled and chatted and payed out people in our school. ive decided lukes mind is at least 90% focussed on sex. it was fun hearing his comments though. me and luke played that game with the marbles where you have to get all the other marbles off the board except for the one in the middle and he brutally beat me. then we chilled on the couch (under a blanket) and played a couple of epic games of rock, paper, scissors. we were nose to nose and then ricky ripped the blanket off cause he wanted to leave. when i was hugging luke goodbye he kissed me on the cheek :) hes a cutie :) he had the best quotes all night. like if riley changed his name to egg (thats what the boys call him) and he got a bank statement it would say "cook, egg" and "heyy bec thats a nice sweater. it really shows off your boobs" and sarah had the most epic fall ever i dont even know how it happened i just saw her legs flying through the air. it was great :) so luke and ricky left around 3 and nick, rae, jamie, brent and jacqui were already asleep/had left so we went to bed. nick and sarah had a semi fight thing but i think they're okay now. i went to sleep sharing sarahs bed with the sarahs and i woke up in the spare room by myself. im rather confused :P it was such a good night, like without drinking and everything. i love my friends.
everyone except jamie had left by the time i woke up. we chatted about uni and stuff and she actually made me feel really good about it cause im worried about moving to brisbane and loosing all my friends and not being able to survive and stuff but she gave me a really positive outlook on it :) i love jamie. then brent came back. then i left for the bus. the bus driver abused me for having a $20 note. gosh it was rude. then i chilled at kamaras work with her until i had to work. work was good just exhausting. everyone was proud that i wasnt hungover. they were really lovely about the whole brad thing too. i love my work people :) then i had to catch the bus home but when i got to the bus stop i remembered that my bus only comes every 2 hours on a sunday. so i had an hour to kill. i visited sarah and she said she finished in 10 so i waited and we went costume shopping for a party she has that im hopefully invited to as well :) then bus home and gave mum her mothers day present. she liked it :) then sleep. then dinner. then blog. now sleep :) xx