Friday, December 11, 2009

in regards to the last post

That probably read like me and Brae are already dating. We aren't, I just can see it happening soon. He was so awkward around Tom and everyone today. He was fine when we were at the beach he just went quiet when we got to Tom's house (oh yeah, and he met Tom :S). I'm hoping that because he was good at the beach that means that, in time, he can get better around my friends. It was a bit harsh as well, that I brought him and Todd to hang out with my friends when we aren't even dating. That's an obligation for a boyfriend, not for a friend. I just don't want things to turn out like things did with me and Brad. I want a boyfriend that is friends with my friends. I want to be able to bring him to parties with me (not just because I'm a little scared I'm going to cheat but because most of my time is spent with the people I party with and if I can bring a boyfriend to parties then me, the boyfriend and the friends can all hang out whenever). I want... I just want things to be good! I deserve a bit of good, dont I? I mean I like Brae, I really do, I just don't know if I'm ready for another failed relationship. I'm the type of person that looks at every possibly outcome before deciding and the pessimist side of me is telling me that this will all end in tears. I just need to believe my possitive side for a bit and hope that things work out. I should probably do the same with the wakeboarding thing (Brae wants to take me wakeboarding but he's like pro and I've never done it before) since he really wants to take me and all.
Oh things seem so hard sometimes! And I haven't even put Rhysiepoo into the equation yet. Argh.

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