I am so totally fucked with this thing with Brae. Like royally, unequivocally, unbelievably fucked. Fuck.
Kamara pretty much summed the whole situation up:
unwilling to try
doesnt realise you think this
not working on your side
Me and Brae are just different. Not the right kind of different, the wrong kind. I'm social and he's not, I'm motivated and he's not, I make my own plans and he expects people to invite him places. I can't handle it! And every time we've hung out in a group he has gone off and sat by himself for like 20 minutes at a time. It's not because he's upset or he wants me to follow or anything he just wants to sit by himself. And I don't want to feel like I have to baby sit him or anything. And because he doesn't have a job he always has free time so it's sort of like whenever I have free time he wants me to be spending it with him but I have my own life! My own friends! And while I want him to be a part of it I don't want him to be my whole life. And because all his friends treat their girlfriends like they can't live without them, and they spend all their time with them, Brae must think like that as well but that's not something that I can handle.
We just don't work together.
So I'm giving it another week or so and if nothings changed then I'll break up with him. It feels aweful just writting that. Oh dear.
On an upside, I have more stuff for my journal. I couldn't find a twothousandandten thing so I brought silver glitter and I'm going to cover a piece of paper with it and make it myself :) I got ribbon too :) and a good writting pen. And just before I found heaps of photos that I want to put in it to go with something I want to write in it about. If that made sense at all?
I'm in a really creative mood, I may work on it more in a second.