guess where i'll be this time next week?

at schoolies. chyea :)


anyways i had a pretty awesome weekend.
i had my last maths exam ever on friday. thats right. last. maths. exam. ever. im pretty sure i failed it but i dont care cause i cant have failed enough to drop my mark. then i helped sister sarah edit the year 12 grad film and we finally finished it :) its so friggen good!! im so stoaked with it!! everyone is going to cry at grad. then we met up with our group at the beach :) it was so good to chill with them, they are great. that night was rhodys 17th so we went to his house for a BBQ. again, great fun chilling with our group :) we played heaps of games that i havent played in years like bullrush and duck duck goose. although we didnt alter duck duck goose by adding in the tackle element :) and we all ate cake and played ping pong and just hung out all together. it was good to hang out outside of school since its finishing soon and all. i hope i dont loose touch with them once schools over. once i got home nick texted me so he came over and ended up staying until 2 am. it was so good to catch up :) we had great talks.
saturday i worked which was a bit average. taryn made me clean - nic never made me clean, she knew i was bad at it and hated it. also she put me on three shifts for the week i was at schoolies. so yehh average. saturday night was alexs going away party. im so devo that hes going to canada for six months when ive only just become good friends with him in the past couple of months. i napped too long so i got there late but oh well :) i was wearing my new heels and i would like to say that they stayed on the whole night :) it was just a gathering really, all of us just hanging out and drinking. we played i never and its the funnest thing with heaps of people like that :) its also funner when you're in a game with someone you've slept with and his friends. some of the i nevers directed at us were "ive never had sex in my friends parents bed" "the best sex ive ever had wasnt from behind" it was good fun :) at one point we started a fire in the middle of the street. good effort i thought really :) and then ron ron wanted to move his car so that his car was away from the fire and as we were re-parking i saw the driveway of an old friend and said "my friend lives up there" and ron ron went "do you want to go up there?" of course i did :) because ron rons tires are so bald we got half way up the hill, almost stalled, floored in instead and did massive burnouts on their driveway and front lawn. we were absolutely pissing ourselves laughing when we finally parked. ohh and i forgot to mention while the fire was being started tom pulled me into the laundry and we had sex on the counter :) well kind of sex anyways. i let him go long enough to make me happy then decided that i was too nervous about being caught to keep going. and yes i did say before, my heels were on all night :) riess shotted boiling hot water. well actually no riess attempted it. poor riess his mouth was sore all night after that. and ron ron made really shit french toast. and the cops came to suss out the fire. we did shots of this blue stuff and it actually didnt make me feel sick for once. after chilling for a little longer we decided to leave. sister sarah wanted to go home cause she had to work in the morning and didnt have her work stuff with her so she called her mum to come get her. the boys started walking to my house so me and sarah jeana lift with nel to mine :) shes so nice. me and other sarah chilled until the boys got there then we all hung out before going to bed. everyone was in my bed so once i couldnt hold off tom for a minute longer i rudely kicked everyone out of my room. the sex was up to par to say the least :) more new positions :) and the best thing ever happened. im sure ive mentioned this before but in case i havent, toms never finished inside me. i always have to stop him and finish him off cause i was too sore. not last night :) he finished inside me and apart from how stoaked i am that i could get him to (ive been trying for ages) he was stoaked which made me happy :) he actually said "that was so good" which is amazing cause he never says anything about it usually. then lied down and cuddled for a bit before riess came in and told us that it was daytime and then again when he needed to show us that adam was sleeping on my couch in his underware. funniest stuff.
this morning i woke up and could hear tom getting his stuff together. i dont know why i do it but every time i wake up because hes getting up i pretend to be asleep until he leaves. so i did but i thought he was just going into the other room but he was actually leaving so i felt a bit bad. then i came into the other room and chilled with the boys and sarah jean. adam had pants on again thankgod. then mum drove the boys home, ron ron came and picked me and sarah jean went to his to get boardies then to the beach :) awwww poor sarah jean she was so fragile all day. the beach was so amazing though :) and we had nandos and that was also amazing :) then i came home, napped and chilled.

pretty epic weekend all in all :) im really slack though ive got my drama performance tomorrow and i havent practiced my lines and its like 1:30 am and im not sleeping yet. and i havent got the fake blood or makeup that i need for my drama tomorrow. im so useless.
on the upside im talking to rhysiepoo :)
ohh and heres an intersting conversation me and cj had the other day.
it started off with me not being able to sleep and cj suggested cuddling to help but i said i had no one to cuddle. then he said that he would but rhysiepoo would mind. so i asked why rhysiepoo would mind and he said "well theres a thing between you two isnt there?" and i was like "what thing?" and he said "well you like him and he likes you right?" and then i told cj that i didnt think rhysiepoo liked me in that way and that i though he just wanted to be closer. then cj told me that rhysiepoo wasnt like that, he was more of a relationship guy. then he said "thats why i was and am so worried about rhysiepoo... because if you like him but you're not sure and you give him one glimpse of hope and take it away from him, he'll be shattered coz he isn't really into the dating scene just yet hes kinda a newbie." then i said that was trying to sort my head out and that if i did start something i didnt want it to be a drunken thing. then cj said "bec... rhysiepoo is not coming back a virgin!" and then i got insanely jealous! like the burning stomach and all! i got jealous of some faceless, nameless girl who may not even exist! and cj said "if you do decide you're gona do it with him be careful because theres already a connection between yas and after the sex there will definatly be passion from his side, whether or not there is from yours. and please dont let him see u with other guys all over u it might break his little heart"
so yeh. im in a bit of a pickle really. i just need to sort my head out and hopefully before schoolies. i dont want to hurt rhysiepoo but some days i really like him and other wise i just feel like friends. and i cant start anything if im like that. imagine if i started dating him then just woke up one morning and didnt feel the same. and also i dont know if me and him would be compatible physically. and he hasnt really opened up to me before and because im such an open person i would need someone that could be open with me. and then theres the whole future thing as well. and if i could be a good girlfriend. so many questions and no answers. oh dear.
brad text me last night. i replied a couple of times before finding better things to do. such as tom :)
xx