the first day of the most important term of my life

today i started term 3.
and im shit scared.
every year, every term, every day of school has been leading up to this term.
trust me im not exaggerating much.

we didnt really do much today, just went over like everything we're doing in the term. im actually really excited for english, we're doing macbeth :) im a nerd i know :) i just dig the language so much, its amazing. the one class i actually really wanted to have today was drama but todays the only day that i dont have it :l film was good, hume explained like everything about the ranking ladder and things like that. i really dont like the idea of the ranking ladder. the ranking ladder is basically a list of everyone in the subjects grades in order of best to worst and its stuck up for all to see. hume said that it wasnt to embarrass people, it was to help us with our OPs cause we're gotta maintain that ranking or get better but mrs web said that it was to embarrass the people who werent doing well and to give them a kick up the arse. i think hume is just too nice to see it that way but its probably a little of both. and hume also managed to scrounge up an extra five computers over the holidays so now each group will have their own computer, meaning we can edit for as long as we want!! yewwww! hume-dogg also worked out that because of swine flu, teachers strike, sports carnivals, qcs, and exam block our 10 week term only has 6 weeks of actual school days :S so yeah not as long as i feel comfortable with. but oh well i guess theres nothing i can do about it, right?

work tonight was the shit. i had to remerch the kids section. remerching is when we move everything into a pattern (depending on the season) then we put it into its colour section, then the darkest to the lightest colours in each colour. basically its a shit, time consuming job. i was so excited cause stocknights are always the funnest cause everyone just gets to chill but i had to be down the back by myself :l not happy.

i just had like an hour and a half phone conversation with kamara. it was good to catch up on everything. but it really just made me hate jackson more. he completely fucks with her head. i dont even know what they've done but anything is bad. i mean hes engaged and has a baby girl for god sakes!! and hes older and hes the one that started things!! he should know better! and hes cheated on his finance before! so even if him and kamara did get together id be so worried about him cheating on her cause if he can do that to his finance and mother of his child imagine what hes going to do to a 17 year old girl. god it shits me. shes so amazing and honest and giving and happy and she deserves so much better. if only she could see that. *sigh*

i told other sarah about the brad situation today. same answer as sister sarah "no. wrong answer." which it is. i dont deserve him. and even if i did nothings changed. it would be like rewinding to last year and hitting play. i cant do it. i dont want to do it. i know that i wont tell him when im sober im just going to have to delete his number when im going out so that im not tempted to text him. good plan bec. way to be the friend.
even if i did deserve him and things had changed im moving to brisbane in less than a year. im not a fan of egg-timer relationships myself.
somethings wrong im being too rational.

well its 1 AM. im going to bed (more rationalness?!?!)
i dont even know what im doing tomorrow. guess i should probably check my exam timetable (and again?!?!)
tata xx
p.s. ohhhh-emmmm-geeeeee i saw harry potter at the staff screening last night :D:D:D and its... ohhhh-emmmm-geee.