changing my mind quicker than... something really quick

so last night i had sex with tom.
i know ,i know, i said that i loved brad and everything. but ive since decided that even though i do love brad, its not enough to make it work. im not strong enough not to cheat on him. and hes... well i just dont think that hes changed. theres a million valid reasons as to why we shouldnt date and only one that says we should (which doesnt even make sense anyways!).
so yeah my new idea is to get my uhmm *cough* attention and affection from anyone but brad which will hopefully help me to get over him. fingers crossed.

so yes anyways to my weekend.
saturday i worked. it was good, sarian was on :) that manboy is one of the most inappropriate people ive ever met. and i love it :) then i went home, got ready and other sarah came to pick me up. we chilled at mine for a bit while i got ready then we picked sister sarah and steffen up from the plaza, went to steffens house to get his stuff and feed his pets and then we went to mels. other sarah then went to pick up sam, olivia and prue. i kind of dont want to get my license cause i dont want to be a taxi like other sarah is.
naomi arrived when i did so me, sister sarah, steffen and her walked in together. there was ron ron, tom, reiss, mel, anna and simon there when we got there. then other sarah, sam, prue, olivia arrived. then ben and nick did. then everyone was there. so many funny things happened.
- ron ron falling backwards off his chair, then tom.
- reiss getting to choose a song and putting on Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt. and he knew every word.
- sister sarah trying to say "dvd" and "i dunno".
- wearing the helmet and glasses again.
- reiss punching the helmet while ron ron was wearing it, effectively breaking his knuckles.
- dancing with naomi.
- sister sarah speaking in japanese then translating herself (she does it everytime shes drunk).
- I Touch Myself - The Divinyls.
- sister sarah and steffen having a skulling competition (steffen whooped sister sarah).
- "opai!"
and so much more.
reiss and ron ron convinced mel to give simon his first kiss. gosh it was halarious. poor simon. poor mel. then ron ron and reiss give her hugs afterwards. way to make it obvious guys. it was halarious, im pretty sure that ben was trying it on with naomi before she left at 12 :)
when i was walking back to mels after walking naomi to her car and i saw sam and nick standing outside. after figuring out that i wasnt interrupting a private conversation i asked what was up. the zipper on nicks hoodie had come off but he seemed really devo about it. like about to commit sui. well not really but he was more cut than usual for a lost zipper. i suggested he get a new zipper put on it but he said that it wouldnt be the same. he explained to me that when he lived in new zealand he had two groups of friends and when he was with one of the groups he would wear one jumper and when he was with the other group he would wear another jumper. so his jumper had a lot of memories attached to it. but i said that he could still wear it and this way the jumper has some australian memories to go along side the new zealand ones. i think i made him feel better :) later on i came outside and nick, steffen and ben were sitting on the couch. there were no more seats so nick patted his lap and told me to sit. so i did. we were all talking and stuff and then eventually steffen and ben went inside but i didnt move cause it just didnt cross my mind to. so me and nick kept on chatting then olivia came out. she gave us a weird look and went back inside. turns out she went up to other sarah and was basically trying to get other sarah to say that she was worried about me and nick. but other sarahs not silly so she wasnt :) which is what she told olivia but then later on nick came up to her and was like "whats wrong?" but nothing was which is what she said but he spent the entire night trying to figure out an issue that she didnt even have. but they worked it out this morning :) stupid olvia, trying to stir shit.
tom was looking really sick at one point in the night, lying on the ground pretty much passing out so he went outside to get air, but he also seemed a bit cut. i was sitting on the couch with nick at the time and i told nick that i wanted to check if tom was okay but i didnt want it to look like i was going out there to get with him. so nick suggested that i open the conversation with "im not trying to hook up with you, i just want to see if you're okay" so i did :) he was on the couch next to rex (the dog) so i sat on the tiniest piece of couch where rex wasnt. tom told me that he was avoiding mel cause she was sort of chasing after him. is it bad that i want to put a smiley face there? he said he just didnt want to hook up with anyone tonight and mel was just being really persistent so he came outside to get away from her. i asked him why he didnt want to hook up with anyone and he said that his mind was just all over the place at the moment, one day he'll really want sex then the next hes good just chilling. and that it was doing his head in cause he couldnt figure out what he wanted, how to act, that kind of thing. understandabele. i told him that i was kind of the opposite, i want sex, then i get sex, then it goes away for a bit then i want sex again. he asked "do you want sex at the moment?" and i said "yea, hence my messages from the last time we were here" so we started talking about the whole "please?! sex?!" episode and he said "it was so difficult im standing there trying to make this big speach about how i dont want to hurt you and then you kiss me! you have no idea how much restrain it took to not grab you and mount you on my car right then." so i asked "why didnt you? you dont have uni or anything at the moment" and he said more crap about being scared of hurting me. so i said "well you should have" then rex moved so i went to sit back and tom put his arm around me :) so i said "im not so much for a relationship at the moment, just the sex" so we kissed :) then he said "do you wanna go sit in my car and chat or something?" yep sure we're going to chat. so we went to his car, got in the back seat and after chatting for about 20 seconds we started making out :) after a little bit there was a knock on the door, the door opened and we hear reiss and ron ron go "tom?" and he says "yea?" and they just cheer and shut the door again. then they pushed on the back of the car, making it rock. haha i love those boys :) so we started making out again :) we started umm.. getting into it then nick got in his car and went for a drive and tom was worried that we were going to get caught so we stopped and drove a little bit down the road (i actually thought we drove for ages but on the way back i realised it was like not even 100 meters :P) then we started again :) and he didnt fail this time :) i thought it was halarious, if anybody had actually seen the lanos (toms car) it would have actually been rocking and the windows were fogged up! just like in the movies :) he didnt have a condom cause ron ron and reiss used his last one as a balloon (trust them) but im not really stressing cause aside from the fact that im on the pill its kind of like mmm been there done that :P toms the boy that keeps on giving, he doesnt do just kissing, then just sucking, then just fingering, then just sex, he can multitask :P and he didnt give me an epic hickey this time :) one bad thing though was that he was talking dirty to me and it just doesnt really do much for me. but oh well it probably does it for him :) im actually really glad we moved cause i was, again, really loud :) it was weird (but in a good way) that tom was on top. i didnt think that guys could be on top in a car but some how we managed :) it was good cause when i was on top it wasnt as good and i kept on hitting my head on the roof. im a classy lady, i know :) after we finished we cuddled for a bit (again didnt think that was possible in a car) then we got dressed and drove back to mels. i went in first cause tom had to umm... clean up :S
i got inside and ron ron asked "wheres tom?" and i said "hes coming" (probably not the best choice of words there but no one picked up on it thank god) so ron ron says "cleaning himself up?" so i guessed that reiss and ron ron had told everyone, which id expected them to do anyways. among more wise cracks i layed down on the bed with sister sarah and ron ron just before tom comes into the room. more wise cracks. everyone stayed up for a little bit longer talking but once the boys had used up all their jade jokes* everyone fell asleep.
in the morning we all chilled then tom, ron ron, reiss, simon and sam left and i called mum and told her that i was still at mels and needed her to pick me up with work clothes around 9 so that i could chill with everyone else that was going to the plaza in other sarahs car before i had to work at 10. so mum did and i got to the plaza then got a call from sister sarah saying that other sarahs car battery had died and they had to get mels neighbours to jump start it and that they now have to drive around for half an hour so that the battery doesnt die again as soon as other sarah turns it off. so i chilled and had breakfast by myself mostly, with the others joining me about 10 minutes before i had to leave.
then work. fuck it was bad. i was so tired and sick but at least i was working with sash and jenny for the whole day and chloe later in the day :) i told all of them about my night and all were pleased that i was trying to not be with brad :)
then i came home, slept and called maddie. she was... not unhappy but not happy about the tom thing either. at least thats what i was picking up but maybe i was just getting it wrong.

now im going to go to bed cause ive got to get up in like 5 hours.
ill put photos up later.
night all xx
* jade is curtis'es girlfriend, a guy who used to be really close to tom, ron ron and reiss and that before they started dating and shes basically stolen him. so they make jokes about her a lot.