omfg

i realised that yesterdays blog didnt have anything to do with yesterday!
shock! horror! gasp!
anyways yesterday we had cross country and me and nutter had this idea to do it three-legged :) we were going to do it last year but she got tonsillitis like a week before it :( but no dramas this year :)
when we first tied ourselves together... it fell off :) but then sarah tied us together and it worked much better. then we tried to walk. what a mission! but we worked it out by the time we got over to the starting line. we got laughed at by a lot of people and asked if we were going to do it the whole way. no, stupid people we're going to do it at the start and almost get trampled, then take it off :l we tried running a few times but that always ended in grass stains and muddy knees :) we threw water and mr doughey which was fun. we had random boys taking photos and videos of stuff which was a tad strange :S we found out that josh is a fag from some junior boy and the he found out that josh doesnt like being called a fag :) foul m.q and a few of her group were chilling at a house that we walk past for cross country, yelling out obscenities and whatnot. lame much. most devestating part of the whole cross country and only down point was them not letting us finish. me and nut obviously couldnt go very fast so we were part of the special group of people that got to cut across the last... ohh probably about 300 m to get to the finish line :) when we untied ourselves it was so weird trying to walk, our legs kept walking like we had somone tied to us :)then awards were given out. me and nut should have got one just for doing it different i think :) anna got first which is good cause shes been trying to beat jacqui for 5 years now.


then i went home and packed my stuff for nutters.
got to nutters and we hung out in her room with milan. i cant believe how big she is now, and how much shes talking and walking. babies are amazing. i havent really ever spent too much time around babies and kids so i dont really ever know what to do with them so when nutter asked me to look after her while she was going to have a shower, even though i remained calm on the outside, inside i was rather shitting myself. but we had a great, non-accidental time.
which is where the picture --> came from :)

me and nut went to rangoli for dinner and i seriously recommend it if you're in the mood for indian. its really cute and cosy and the foods really filling. me and nutter shared a curry and we were completely stuffed. so we waited for like an 1/2 an hour to an hour until we had digested enough food to fit in dessert :) we chatted with nutters work friends who seem nice and i saw the guy shes been having dreams about haha. after going to the candy shop thats meant to be open until nine but was cloesd at eight-fifteen, we went home and chilled some more. we taught milan to say nutter :) probably the most genius thing ever. i love her vocabulary; she turns two in july and she can already say fuck, shit, bitchen, fanny, boobies, cock :) and of course other words. then we went to bed and i told nutter about how i maybe might like tom (id told her about me and tom hooking up earlier that morning and she was ok with it... i think so anyways). when i told her i like tom i also said i dont want to date him (which is true) so instead of telling me how she felt about me liking tom she just talked about if i dont want to date him then dont date him. so im not sure how she feels. if it ever turns into a stronger emotion ill ask again. and get an answer.


in the morning we got up and hung with milan. haha i definitely feel more comfortable around babies after these past two days :) we decided milan was mini nut. so now its big nut, little nut, mini nut :) then we had breakfast and got ready to go to plaza. when i was blow drying my hair i used dom and lukes hair dryer and i broke it :S nut didnt mind but cause she hates them and shes not going to tell. then jack (a guy from nutters work) picked us up and took us to the plaza. he drove me to rivers first so i could drop off my sleepover shit which was really nice of him. then we chilled around the plaza, tried to get nutters bracelet fixed, looking at new phones for jack and eating maccas. then jack left and me and nutter continued to chill. i brought the most amazing boots ---> from max and madonna, ive been looking at them for weeks, trying to convince myself to buy them. they were $50 which i know is really good for boots but its still lots of money for me. but ive brought them now and i couldnt be happier :)


me and nut decided to catch the 2:40 bus so around 2:30 we went back to work go get my stuff. and guess who was there. brad. honestly never felt more awkward in my life. i saw him when i was across the road from work and i actually stopped in my tracks and said "omg its brad" nutter was completely stoaked shes like "yesssssss" and starts yelling obscenities across the road before i quietened her. i walked into work and he was looking down so i told nut id be back in a sec and went to the back room to get my bag. when i came back out he walked pretty much in front of me while he was on the phone. then we left. i know it doesnt sound that big but hes my first proper ex and my hearts never skipped as many beats before. i really, really hope it gets better between us.
then we caught the bus home and there was this guy openly perving on nutter. it was halarious.
home and i showed mum and grace my boots :) mum actually didnt go off about the price :)

ive also decided that myspace makes it hard to give people space. as much as you dont talk to them they can still see you're online, you're moods, you're bulletins etc. point and case; brad. his status the night i stayed at nutters was "amazing how quick you can move on when you dont care" now compare this to "i just made a perfect 10/10 for a shit life" the night before that and then things start to sting a little. todays was about him going to the gold coast on friday and even though i didnt want to, i immediately thought about him going clubbing on friday night and meeting some amazing girl that he instantly falls in love with and he spends the rest of his life with her. see what i mean, myspace makes things complicated. dont get me wrong, im happy we're broken up, i just... i dont want him to be over me already. and i checked brads comments (stalkerish i know) and jess that used to work with us was commenting him and she asked if everything was cool with "you know who" real subtle jess. brad laughed at the code name and said that he doesnt really care and that after the way hes been feeling over the last couple of weeks he didnt even feel any different. i wish i knew what he was feeling like. he never once communicated in anyway that anything was wrong with us. its so frustrating. jess asked what was going to happen with work and i really wish he hadnt gone offline cause i would like to know whats going to happen with work.
myspace; the untilmate way to fuck with peoples heads.


now its raining:( whenever theres anything remotely bad in my life, rain just makes it seem 10 times worse.
im going to try and sleep off my blues.
night xx