i cant believe

that i have to go back to school tomorrow. i guess in a way its good cause the sooner i go back the sooner i leave forever. but thats also a bad thing. im going to miss it so much. ive vowed that im going to make the most of this term.

anyhoos i havent really done all that much with my holidays. i went to the beach at least 4/5s of them so now im like super tanned :) and i went to buderim rainforrest with aimee one day which was cool. and monica was up which was okay. i used to be so intimidated by her so im glad that i wasnt as much this time. i did miss my car chill seshes with sarah though. and me and nutter were meant to hang out but she made other plans. we're kind of fighting. i just dont want to be her friend anymore. im sick of being dragged into all her messes and always coming out of them empty handed. i hate the way she treats people. i just cant deal with all her drama anymore. one of the days i went to the beach we went with pauleh and alex :) it was so much fun! they are great :) and me and other sarah were so good we packed lunch most days so that we didnt spend all our money on food. they were good too :) me and josh were going to hang out but then we didnt. i cancelled cause i dont want to lead him on.

on friday night it was tashes friends 18th party at her house. it was actually way better than i expected :) naomi and britta were there and so was kezia! it was lots of fun and i got very drunk :) me and josh kissed but i explained to him that i didnt want anything so yepp.

saturday at work was bad. jim came in and nic said that they had to have a talk about what happens when she goes on maternity leave. she said they would only be gone about half an hour but they were gone for almost two hours. when she came back she was sad and cried heaps but we couldnt even ask her what was wrong cause we didnt want to upset her and cause it was obviously private otherwise jim would have just told all of us. sarian reckons that our shops getting franchised which would mean that nic wont have a job with us when she gets back. this is even though she signed a contract saying that her job would be there for her when she gets back. i asked nic about it and she said that she couldnt say but she said that she felt shafted and that the company doesnt give a shit that she has worked there for eight years and stuff. she pretty much confirmed what we were thinking but im still hopeful. she started crying so me and katie started crying. it was just horrible. nic doesnt diserve that. then sarah took me home and on the way the boys called and told me they were coming to my house to drink :) i pretty much got out of the shower and they were there. i cried for a bit in the shower about nic and everything and got a nosebleed from it! anyways yepp ron ron, riess, tom and adam turned up. i went and told my neighbours that i was having a few people around they were really nice about it :) i was in a pretty bad mood cause of nic and everything so i wasnt drinking cause yeah nothing good comes from that. the boys were fun though :) and then sister sarah turned up :) then other sarah turned up :) it was fun chilling in my sunroom with them :) then mitch and rhys came :) ron ron played the keyboard for us :) hes so good. and we made many jokes about him and his lack of job :) and the boys made jokes about me crying but they were funny :) and we ordered pizza but we didnt invite the guy back this time we knew better :) i was feeling better by that point so i drank a bit. other sarah is always the first one drunk out of us girls but cause i was still in a bit of a mood i was getting a little frustrated by it. then i got drunker and it was okay :) then sister sarah was sad and she went to the bathroom and didnt come out for ages so me and other sarah went to talk to her. she was crying :( she wouldnt even tell us what was wrong she just kept on telling us to leave her alone and that she wanted space. so i suggested that she chill in my room so i went to kick the boys out of my room and i found this:

they had put on at least half of my wardrobe :) i love those boys. stupidly i got distracted and jamie came over to ask me why sister sarah was walking by herself down my street. i ran after her with ron ron and id like to say i almost beat him. she told him to fuck off and we walked and then she just started crying. it was so bad cause i didnt even know what was wrong to make it better. then other sarah came and after lots of convincing we managed to get her to come back to my house and i left her in mums room cause she wasnt going to get interrupted there. there was nothing me or other sarah could do to make it better she just wanted space so thats what we gave her. a little while later she went into my room and i came in to see if she was alright. she started talking about how her mum and neil are having trouble at the moment and how shes scared shes never going to find someone to be with forever and how she doesnt believe in marriage and about her mum and tjs split and it was just awful to see her that upset. her story about the night they left tjs made me cry. i think i made her feel a bit better though cause she came out after that :) then tom asked me to come and talk with him for a bit so we went into my room and he kissed me :) i like it so much better when he starts it :) then we chilled some more and people from jacquis party came to visit like rae, cole, nick and dean :) nick was dancing! it was amazing! then we all calmed down and put a movie on. then brad text me. that was weird. i had text him the night before because i was drunk and wanted to talk to him but he didnt text back. so we started talking and it turns out that his friends have been stopping him from talking to me :( but he said that he didnt care if they got angry :) even though it was probaby cause he was drunk it still made me feel better. me and tom were sitting on the couch cuddling and whatnot then once most people were asleep we went to my room :) wowwwwww. its better if you havent had it for a while ive decided :) seven again :) haha we broke the first condom and the second condom :S i even made tom make noises this time :) it was a bit embarrassing i was really wet and there were like squelching noises :/ but it was still amazing :) that boy can go for so long! when we were cuddling afterwards i asked him how many girls he had had sex with. id been wanting to know for ages but at the same time i was worried that the answer was going to be so big that i felt uncomfortable. so i asked and you'll never guess what he said. "two including you" the only other time hes had sex was with tash when she took his virginity. i didnt believe him to start with! i cant believe hes that good when hes only had sex with two people! i was going to use his number to gauge how long it would take me to be as good as him! ive had more sex than him! i dont understand! it makes me feel pretty good though cause he has always said that he had a shit first time which means i must be the best sex hes ever had :)

this morning i got up and cleaned up a bit before work. work was okay i had to tell jenny and sash about the meeting and i hated being the bearer of bad news. then i came home and cleaned up some more. parra lost :(

i cant be bothered to write anymore.

night xx