just like old times

today i got off at kamaras bus stop and chilled at her house all afternoon. it was really lovely. we used to hang out heaps but with work and school and everything else we've been a bit slack lately so yeah im really glad that today was so good cause hopefully that will mean that we can hang out more again :)
i found out everything to do with her and jackson. they've had sex once. bad. i didnt say it to her but i think that she saw it on my face, im not very good at hiding my feelings. but she isnt proud of it either which makes it a little better. but still. i mean hes 26, hes engaged and hes a father. and hes a fuckwit. he doesnt treat her right at all. and im sad that she isnt proud about her first time, your first time is meant to be special and as she put its it was "bitter-sweet" cause it was with the guy that shes completely in love with but completely not aloud to be with. poor kamara. im glad she told me/i guessed though cause it makes me feel more trusted. and shes rejected him from doing it since so at least shes trying.
even though its really really chronically epically colossally bad shes still my friend and its not my place to judge.
but yeah it was still really good to catch up and she didnt judge me about the tom thing which was refreshing considering the reactions ive been given about it lately :/
then i walked home when the sun was setting and it was just really peaceful :) and having some me time was good cause i havent been alone in a long time to just think. actually i spent most of the time thinking about what i would do if tom pulled up next to me. but it was nice to be alone in my thoughts with tom :)
argh me and mum are fighting about formal dresses currently. as in shes ranting while im typing. she just doesnt get it. we are so different in body types all the ones that she likes wont work for me. she wants low backs, deep v necks, no straps or spaghetti straps. i want them too but i just cant and it makes me even more upset when she brings up things like that cause i know that i cant wear dresses like that. its just kind of rubbing salt in my wound at this point.
well i have to get pretty much all my maths assignment done tomorrow so id best be off. *sigh* bec why do you always leave everything til the last minute?
xx